On Thursday, we walked to the bus park to catch the tour bus to the Amalfi Coast. We were greeted by a flamboyant (but not in a gay way) gentleman of about 50 who ushered us onto the bus asking where we come from. When we said California, he said, “Oh good, you have some friends back there (gesturing to the back of the bus) from Ohio,” as if the USA is a small town.
We were soon on our way and our tour guide was handing out stickers to put on our shirts so he could identify his group. When he had some paper trash, he told our driver to pull out the small trash can under the dash so he could play ball. He announced he had 3 tries to get the trash ball into the can and counted out loudly as he made each attempt. He did make it on 3 and we all clapped. The driver put the can back under the dash and our guide, Diego, said “Oh, no, Franco, do not drive, play with me!” This when Franco was trying to maneuver a huge coach through narrow city streets, dodging scooters, cars and tourists! It was at this point that we realized this would not be a typical tour. Throughout the day, he called us family (“OK, Family” “Family, come this way” “Look at this, Family”) and as he told us about the different towns we passed through, he would start by saying, Ah-ten-see-own Family! Attention Family. He was a bit politically incorrect at times (telling off color jokes or saying things like women should not drive), but he was so incredibly charming and absent of any bad intent, and truly funny, that we could not object.
The road down the Amalfi Coast is unbelievable and should not be attempted by tourists in rental cars — male or female! Many times, our driver had to stop to allow a car to back up so the bus could pass without hitting the car, or a person walking on the side of the road, or a scooter rider. It was just crazy. As we got to the coast line, the drop to the ocean was 1,200 to 1,400 feet below. Sometimes, as we went around hairpin curves, I had to close my eyes! We were, literally, inches from the concrete guard rail. We made 5 stops — first at a ceramic shop and to “make wee wee”; then just past Positano to take pictures; then in Amalfi town for two hours to shop and where we got a side tour by boat to see the coastline from that vantage point; then a lunch stop at Penguino’s; then in Ravello for more shopping and another bathroom break. It was awesome and, well, just “Wow!” (Diego said all Americans say “awesome” and “Wow” whenever they see something spectacular!). He told funny stories along the way and told us about his family. He said when he was younger he played piano in a 5 Star Hotel near Positano for 3 months and one night Sophia Loren came in (for you youngstars, she was a very beautiful, famous Italian actress) and requested a song. When he finished playing she came up and kissed him on the cheek! Later, he mentioned her again and said her first son looks like her deceased husband, but her younger son looks just like him (Diego), saying it was a very potent kiss!
When we left Almafi, we came to a red light and Diego explained that this part of the already narrow road was even narrower for the next two miles and the coaches had to go through one at a time. The narrow portion was 2 miles long, so we waited about 8 minutes at that light. Once our turn came to pass through, we stopped for a wonderful lunch at Penguino’s; which consisted of bread, salad, homemade red wine, dessert cake, and a choice of fish, meat or pasta. It was delicious and only cost 13 Euros. We sat with a lovely couple from Ireland.
As we headed home, Diego talked about the very hard English words that most Italians try to stay away from. He said, “If you wonder why I say seashore and not bitch (beach), I tell you because it sounds like bitch. So when we say, you can lie on the bitch or stand up on the bitch or sometimes the bitch is free but other bitches cost money; well, you can see people get upset. Same for piss (peace), I say I just want some piss and everyone should work for piss. Also, tits (teeth) – it is, you have beautiful tits; because we cannot say the word. And finally, shits (sheets)! I say, you see the house with the shits on the lines; and people say, why would you have shits on the lines? So, we just avoid those words!” Another phrase he kept using was falling down sleeping — mixing falling down drunk with falling asleep. He said we had to get the driver home before he was falling down sleeping! Of course, his English was 150% better than my Italian.
We were so exhausted from our day when we got back to Sorrento, we rested in the room for a couple hours, then went to dinner at 8 at a restaurant I spotted the day before. It was incredible!
I took way too many pictures and had a hard time narrowing them down to just these:
Our second stop, just past Positano, to take pictures.
The super small fruit stand at the stop.
3 vehicles passing on a road not big enough for 2!
There are orchards and gardens on all those terraces.
Here is another shot showing the trees in the orchard.
Looks a little like the Northern California coastline.
Anti-Saracen towers from hundreds of years ago for protecting the coastline. They are now Hotels.
A view of the Amalfi Coast!
This is a natural rock formation of Virgin Mary with a bouquet of flowers – can you see her?
Heading into an s curve!
This is the winding road we had just been on.
Houses and hotels built into the side of the mountains.
Michael enjoying our boat ride.
Pasta with lemon and shrimp – served in a lemon shell. Deliciouso!
Safari So Good 